fruitless endeavor

AMY MEDINA

did you call because you missed me
or because you missed who you are with me?
pretense has no purpose 
between two monsters 
unwilling to reform.
it’s easy, too easy 
to dissolve into the darkness
to give into the temptation 
to deliver yourself 
directly to evil’s doorstep.

you find yourself 
throwing pennies into a fountain 
praying someone can hear your cries
before you wash down the bile rising 
in your throat with 
something stronger than a wish.
you bite the hand that saved you
from your fruitless search 
for an endless high.
she will never know 
you found it in the arms 
of someone else.

before you slip back into 
the comfort of perdition 
don’t forget to dispose of
the body 
of the one 
who will never feel the honor of a white dress 
in its purest form. 
eight months is heavy enough 
without the added baggage 
of possibility, 
free yourself of the name 
that dances on your tongue 
and threatens to burn your house down.

Amy Keith is a 25 year old English Teacher in Massachusetts with aspirations to be a writer. She is continuing her studies in English Literature and Secondary Education at Bridgewater State University’s graduate program. 

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